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GREY-PERSON SYNDROME

By Baskaran Sekaran

There was once a person who loitered the streets of uneventfulness, who floated on the undulating tide of the nonspecific. This person often wondered about going out on a ledge and thought about taking risks but never did. Another thing this person never did was accomplish anything they valued. This person is us, Americans. I call it the grey-person syndrome. The American culture has become a series of stereotypes that we have been enslaved by. We work, we drive our kids around, we take care of our pets, we do housework, we go to bed, we get up and do it again. The one thing we neglect to act on is the one thing that makes us burn… our dreams! I am not talking about the cliche hopes and dreams speeches from movies. I am talking about having the body you want. I am talking about being as active as you want, or as healthy as you want, or have as much energy as you want. Sadly, these are dreams and not realities for most people. The worst part is that there are more ways to overcome the grey person syndrome than ever and we just don’t do them. I am going to discuss 3 “secret” ways to break free of the grey-person syndrome.

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1. At TFW we believe in optimizing our time. This brings us to our first lesson: your kids are not jailers. I know that having kids is a huge commitment. They need to be driven to sports, after school events, friends houses, and etc. I also know that most you don’t use that time wisely. Don’t be imprisoned by your kids activities, these activities might be the freedom you need. It gives you a fixed time every week to accomplish something. Instead of sitting and waiting for their event to finish, use that time to immerse yourself in something you long to do. Go for a quick workout if you want your dream body. Write in that journal you always wanted to keep. Whatever hobby or goal you have, this is 1-2 hour window that was given to you by your kids! There is only one pitfall. Don’t put put priorities on things that don’t matter. The parents who don’t sit at the practice still aren’t accomplishing their goals because they are rushing home for laundry and dishes. Are you kidding me? I know these things have to get done but those are things that can be done anytime. You can also outsource those chores. Delegate it to your kids! They have more spare time than you. If you can afford to pay someone then do it. Your time is worth more than anything.

2. Read. It is as simple as that. There are more benefits to reading than I care to get into with this post but I will say that reading enlightens you. It doesn’t even have to be that great of a book. I don’t consider books written by Stephen King or John Grisham great books but they are vastly entertaining and can provide a provocative escape from the norm. Like I said, good but not great. If you really want to utilize reading then you will challenge yourself and choose a book that will help you become a better you. There are an endless supply and a wide array of topics that you might not even know you were into before you started broadening your horizons. I would suggest going into Barnes and Noble, find the self-help section, or the leadership section and pick a book that speaks to you. One usually leads to 3 and 3 to 10, and etc. I am reading a psychology book right now, who knew?

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3. Perform one thing outside your comfort zone each day. One of my first mentors use to make me talk to random people in the gym to get me over my fear of social interactions. My friend once made me ask for something everyday from complete strangers because he said “you never know.” This was a very enlightening experience because it is amazing what people will do for each other if you just ask. When I was younger I needed a weight tree to hold my plates so I asked the YMCA for one. The head trainer walked into the back and gave me their old one for free. That means a lot to a broke trainer who needed equipment. There are a thousand things you can do to go outside your comfort zone: pick up a hitchhiker, pay for a strangers meal, karaoke, talk to strangers on the subway. The point is that going outside your comfort zone makes you feel more alive, it adds color to your life and it teaches you that if you don’t go outside your comfort zone consistently then you will never grow as a person and at TFW webelieve it is imperative to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

here is a growing need to not only have fit bodies but also stress free minds. It is the job of a TFW coach to try to motivate you to become more in the dojo and outside the dojo. It is my hope that you enjoy your days and get the most out of them. If you spend half of your time in the grey-person syndrome and the other half stressed out then you are getting worse, not better. In combat sports there is a tactic called “fighting not to lose.” That means the competitor is playing defense and guarding so he/she doesn’t get knocked out but they never play enough offense to win big. I would rather go for the win,. If I get knocked out I will get back up and try again because that is where the glory lies. Eventually you will learn to win and win big. Ask yourself which fighter you are… now ask yourself which fighter you want to be? Ropestone

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