By Baskaran Sekaran

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“Time to live,

Time to die

Time to laugh

Time to cry”

The age of “inspiration” is upon us. Every “guru” (aka: jack-***) on the planet is now an expert in motivation and piggy backing on the latest nutrition manual while standing on a bosu doing single leg squats barking out advice. Needless to say I am tired of it and a little fired up. I have been thinking about why in the age of fitness we are fatter than ever? Despite all these fitness “experts” and in-home training programs, and healthy choices at work we are STILL not getting better.


You know what? At TFW Ropestone we are not going to call ourselves experts anymore. I don’t care about the latest journal findings on how neuromuscular stimulation is increased through single leg squats on the Bosu. We are going to tell it to you straight. That is why I am going to be in your face with this article and tell you the 3 reasons why you still aren’t in shape and you still haven’t become the person you always wanted to be.

We call it Access- Accountability- Association All 3 of these points I am about to make I have take from all of you. Real people I have either interacted with, interviewed, or talked to through Facebook.

My intention is to hit you int he gut. That is always my intention. I am not sitting here writing to you for my benefit. I want you to succeed. Get serious, get ready, and GET BETTER.

1. Family life isn’t right. If your balance is out of whack then you are substantially decreasing your likelihood for success. If you follow my articles then you know I know that one from personal experience. This means that if you are a stay at home mom and you put your entire family before your own needs you are going to be depressed and eventually burn out. This also means that if your relationship to your spouse isn’t all that it was or you want it to be, you will also fall into a state of despair and refuse to admit it.

QUICK TIP: Make a list of all the things you do for your family. Then list all the things you do for yourself. Which list is longer? You don’t even have to answer, the family list is. The problem is if you never give yourself time for self-improvement you will begin to hate yourself and lose self-esteem. When I say I want you to do things for yourself I do not mean pedicures and massages. Those are great but that doesn’t improve you at your core.

Meditation, kick-bpxing, yoga, the gym, journaling, sports hobbies: these are all things to improve either your physical state or your mental state.

Start being selfish in these ways and watch the fulfillment in your life and your family’s life sky rocket.

2. You believe the stories they tell. Anger says that your husband is an asshole who doesn’t help around the house and you should be resentful of him. Love says you should forgive your husband because it makes the kid’s lives happier. There is a period of rest and happy things. Maybe a weekend getaway. You still haven’t done anything for yourself and you start to gain weight. Then sadness says that you are really bad off and you start to get scared of the gym or doing something for yourself. Then your husband joins a gym or does something and fear tells you that he is up to no good or he is selfish and you instead of taking action for yourself you FIGHT!

REPEAT THAT CYCLE over and over and over

QUICK TIP: Step off that path of story telling. Look at the situation and take action towards something positive. I can empathize with this situation because I was the husband. Then I saw it from my wife’s eyes and had a HUGE breakthrough. Then I started to see it in my students. It is almost everyone. It might be in early stages, or progressed to a bad place but everyone goes through this stuff. It isn’t embarrassing. It is just life.

Imagine a world where you don’t let your emotions take over and every time you get upset or start telling yourself stories you take action towards happiness? history says that you are going to move towards happiness pretty fast because we are emotional beings and that is a lot of steps!


3. Time – Money- Ability

This one is by far the least important. Unfortunately, it becomes the priority. Sensationalism of the being. I honestly have to laugh. I went through all of these guys. All three tips in this article I have personal experience with. That is why I can talk about it with integrity. I am not going to spend much time here because you all know that if you put priority on yourself and your health then you will “find” the time and money. It’s called budgeting.

The ability aspect is a bit harder to crack. In my experience people who struggle have a combination of all 3 of these points going on but the dominating excuse isn’t money or time, it is ability. They think they can’t do it. For some it stems from a long line of critics in their life telling them they can’t do things. Then we are so embarrassed about where we are at physically that we just can’t give ourselves permission to get better. Either way, it isn’t true.


QUICK TIP: You deserve where you are at right now because of the choices you have made BUT you have the ability to get better. I believe anyone in any situation can get better. I trained a 70 year old woman who was in a wheel chair and could only use her right arm at the YMCA many years back. I also trained a young girl who was developmentally challenged. She was not given long to live and still she trained to get better. You may be in a place you do not want to be but you do have every ability to get better.

Difficult conversations need to be had guys. The only way I was able to get better is because I got real, raw, and relevant with my own life. This is how we do it at TFW Ropestone. I find that the only way to get people to where they want to be is to be real with them. This article is your chance to get real.